So, We Had a Fight…

It’s been a little while, but my wife and I finally had another big fight.

On Sunday, we had an impromptu discussion over lunch where she reiterated that she wasn’t interested in being with a woman and that she did not support my decision to pursue transition in the slightest.  That put me in a very down mood for the rest of the day and into the next.  I was pretty quiet on Monday morning, and she asked if I was mad.  I responded that I was not mad, I was sad.  She then laid into me, basically insinuating that I didn’t have a reason to be sad because I was the one choosing to destroy the family.  She insulted me, and I ran out out the house.  Luckily(?), I had a therapist appointment later that day, where I vented a little, but I didn’t really get much help into what to do next.

After hours of texting with my wife, she admitted that she stills loves some of my qualities, but she has a hard time seeing that good in me because she is in so much pain and constantly angry at me.  She went to bed that night without a kiss or an “I love you.”  No “I love you” the next night, either.  The past few days have been OK, and I think she is trying more to focus on the positives, but the roller coaster of emotions continues to be stressful.

I wish there was more Significant Other support in the world.  Yes, there are a few resources, but while transgenderism affects only a small percentage of the population, and even smaller subset of SOs are affected, and the resources they need are few and far between.  I feel for her.  I really do.  I know what I am going through is causing great pain.  However, I know that these feelings are strong, and I need to explore them.  I just hope that these fights happen less frequently, or someone’s rope is going to break, and there won’t be a marriage or family to save.

That would truly make me sad.


7 thoughts on “So, We Had a Fight…

      • Well that is reassuring. Too many women close themselves off to seeking out any help, or talking to anyone in similar circumstances. So it is heartening that she is at least talking to a therapist.

        Ever & Always,
        Caden Lane


      • Oh, she isn’t too happy about it. She as forced into therapy as a child, so taking this step is very big for her. She takes it with a grain of salt, but at least she is going, and that is all I can hope for on that front right now. If nothing else, it gives her a place to vent.


      • I am all about supporting and lifting up sisters. I love to be able to raise them up and if I get to inspire them to step out and live life in the world, all the better.

        But something that brings me greater joy is seeing couples that stick it out despite the dressing, and find ways to communicate and work things out. That is noble and selfless, it is worthy of note; because it is difficult to do, and the odds are against us.

        Ever & Always,
        Caden Lane

        Liked by 1 person

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