OK, so it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Bad me, and apologies to the handful of people following me. I really do appreciate your feedback and support.
Life in the last few weeks has been a little weird. First, red tape. I made the decision to start HRT around Christmas. My PCP thought it would be best if I got specialized trans care at a clinic. Great. No big deal. Sounds good. But then… referrals, insurance, delayed appointment… *yawn* I hate red tape. Can I just get an appointment, please? Its something I’ve dealing with for about 3 weeks now. Hopefully, I can get through the red tape soon and actually get an appointment, which will then lead to acquiring hormones. I’m tired of the waiting game. I’ve determined my next step. Now, I want to follow through and see how I feel with more estrogen coursing through my body.
I’ve lost a weight. I’m actually approaching my weight loss goals. Yay! The upshot is that I actually have some curves now, which means I look even better in a dress than I ever thought I would. That makes me happy. What it also makes me is anxious to go shopping. With the problems I have had with my wife and her non-acceptance, I have been wary to ask permission for another shopping trip. A ray of light surfaced this week, though.
I have been feeling isolated and stagnant in my journey, as I am greatly restricted as to trying to experience more feminine things. Because my wife is not supportive of my potential transition, I walk on egg shells trying not to offend her. I don’t dress in front of her. I try not to talk about trans issues to any great extent. She doesn’t watch me put on my panties in the morning. It’s all in respect to her. With a busy work and kid schedule, I am not afforded a lot of opportunities for self care. No nail painting, infrequent dressing, no shopping. I recognize I need more “me” time to see how comfortable I am being the woman I think I want to be, and I finally brought up that point to my wife. In what turned out to be a civil conversation, she suggested that I take a day with my newest friend from my support group. I am soooooo excited about this possibility! Do I really get to have a girls’ day that is sanctioned by my wife? Woo hoo! Now, I just have to find a break in the calendar to plan such a day that work for both myself and my friend.
In the meantime, I could use so ideas from my (4?) readers. While your mileage and personal situations may vary, how would you suggest I find ways to express my emerging femininity while under such restrictive circumstances? In what ways can I help my self care?